Where Are You Now?
by Avalon Merquise
Summary: 6x9 songfic angst!!! Need I say more? Sad... Depressing... Poor Noin... Possibly the start of a series... let me know! R/R!!!


"Where Are You Now?"  
By: Avalon Merquise  
DramaQueen572@hotmail.com  
  
-----  
  
"Zechs?"  
  
She caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. The familiar long platinum blonde bangs, the unmistakable cobalt blue eyes. Was he back? She blinked but he was gone.  
  
"Zechs?" she whispered. He was nowhere. She was in a crowd of strangers. She'd imagined it.  
  
Noin leaned against a brick wall and buried her face in her hands. What a fool she was. Of course it wasn't him.  
  
Am I completely losing it? Noin asked herself. She shook her head and pulled her jacket tighter around herself.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Calling out your name  
your face is everywhere  
I'm reaching out you  
to find that you're not there...  
  
*****  
  
Noin swallowed. She wished it was him. She wished so bad it was making her think she really did she him. She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes tight to keep from crying. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't.  
  
She started walking again, jealous at all the happy people around her, getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Noin wondered if she'd ever be as happy as them.  
  
-----  
  
vvvvv  
  
The explosion rang out. She watched in horror as pieces of the ship flew in all directions. Her screamed pierced the night.  
  
"Oh no..." she whispered in terror. "Oh God no. Zechs!" she screamed. "ZECHS!"  
  
^^^^^  
  
Noin woke up screaming.   
  
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she realized she was in her bedroom.  
  
She took a couple of deep breaths and laid back down on the pillows. But as soon as she closed her eyes, the horrific images returned. She sat up again with a jolt. She pulled her knees up to her chest and set her head in them.  
  
"Oh, Zechs..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
I wake up every night  
to see the state I'm in  
It's like an endless fight  
I never seem to win...  
  
*****  
  
Noin walked out into her living room and sat on the couch. She couldn't live like this. She felt so alone, so depressed. Would it always be like this. Would he ever come back?  
  
Noin laid down and picked up the stereo remote. Usually the music calmed her, soothed her. She flipped on the radio.  
  
"It's the most wonderful time of the year... There'll be lots mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near..."  
  
Noin snapped. She turned off the stereo and threw the remote at it.  
  
"It's not the most wonderful time of the year!" she screamed, sobbing. "It's the worst! Loved ones... aren't... near..."   
  
Noin collapsed on the floor. She hiccupped and squeezed her eyes shut. No. She couldn't cry. Crying was a sign of defeat. She wouldn't be defeated. She had to keep up hope even if no one else did. He was alive. He had to be. She believed that. Didn't she?  
  
~~~~~  
  
I can't go on  
As long as I believe  
Can't let go  
When I keep wondering...  
  
*****  
  
Even Relena had accepted now that Zechs was dead. She believed he wasn't coming back. He had to come back. He couldn't just leave Noin here like this.   
  
But then, why did he leave?  
  
~~~~~  
  
Where are you now?  
What have you found?  
Where is your heart  
when I'm not around?  
Where are you now?  
You gotta let me know,  
oh baby,  
so I can let you go...  
  
*****  
  
Noin pounded on the floor with her fist. Damn him. Damn him for leaving her here like this. Didn't he have any consideration for anyone else?  
  
Exhausted, Noin raised her hand again, only to have her fist uncurl and her hand fall to the floor.  
  
She stood up and walked to her end table. The pictures she'd taken of him while they were at the Lake Victoria Academy were framed on the shiny oak table.  
  
"Zechs," she whispered. "Are you really dead? Am I just a fool, believing in a fantasy? Or are you out there somewhere?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
I should let it out  
It's time to let you go  
oh baby  
I just wanna know...  
  
*****  
  
Her long, thin fingers stroked the cold glass of the picture frame. Did he know that she loved him? He had kissed her once, back on Graduation Day from the Academy. Just little 10-second thing, but it was the happiest day of Noin's life. Her life had always been sad, but she treasured the time she spent with him in the Academy. But as the Gundams came and made the war worse, they had both changed. Everyone changed. That's what war did. Noin hated war. War was the reason everyone she loved was gone. Her parents, her sister, Zechs.  
  
She closed her eyes and saw Zechs's face, and wondered what he was doing right now. Assuming he was alive. She wondered if he ever thought about her, and if he was ever coming back.  
  
The images inside Noin's head changed, and once again she saw Libra explode.  
  
Did he want to die? Did he even make an attempt to get out of there before it exploded. Maybe he just wanted to go, to leave her and this war and the whole world behind. Maybe he just didn't care.  
  
But if he was alive, where was he? It'd been a year, almost to the day. Maybe he was off somewhere, living a different life, forgetting about her and everyone else. Maybe he didn't want to come back. Maybe he didn't feel the same way she felt about him.  
  
He used to be Milliardo Peacecraft. When the Cinq Kingdom fell, he left that life and became Zechs Merquise. Now had he left Zechs Merquise behind as well? Had he become someone else?  
  
~~~~~  
  
Where are you now?  
What have you found?  
Where is your heart  
when I'm not around?  
Where are you now?  
You gotta let me know,  
oh baby,  
so I can let you go.  
  
*****  
  
-----  
  
THE END  
  
-----  
  
DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing belongs to some Japanese dude. Where Are You Now belongs to Shitney Queers--I mean Spear Britney--I mean Britney Spears. ^_^  
  
Sequel? Yes? No? Should I bring Zechs back? Happy ending? Sad ending? Review please!!! 


End file.
